Mind Your Cell Phone Manners
By Michael Goldberg

Have you ever noticed how many people walking down busy city streets are on their cell phones? Everywhere we go, from banks to airports, elevators to shopping malls, conference rooms to restaurants, cell phone addicts are blurting out steady streams of shocking and confidential revelations. Who needs to know the personal and (and sometimes) creepy things we're now forced to overhear?

In the United States alone, over 190 million people used cell phones as of June 2005, compared with approximately 4.3 million in 1990, according to the Cellular Telecommunications & Internet Association. As I write this article in a café on a Sunday morning, 25 of the 40 customers are on their cell phones – and I received 3 calls.

Have comfort in knowing that we’ve all offended others when talking on our cell phones. Not to worry. Here are some tips and friendly reminders to help you mind your manners the next time you’re making or taking that cell phone call in public.

You don’t have to take every call
I’ve been accused of never (or rarely) answering my cell phone. There’s some truth to this. OK, a lot of truth to this. I’ll rarely stop a face to face conversation to answer my cell. And yes, I screen my calls – don’t judge me, you do it too! I feel if I miss a call or don’t pick up; it’s no big deal (I’m sorry if it was you). Besides, isn’t that what voicemail is for? Emergencies are always the exception, especially if the call is coming from an unlikely source or at an unusual time.

One on one (or small) meetings
These include business meetings in an office, conference room, over a meal, or a venti whatever. Answering your phone in the middle of a meeting is rude. It means the person on the phone is more important than the one you’re looking at. If you’re expecting an important call – client, prospect, boss, pregnant wife – let the person you’re meeting with know ahead of time while putting your cell phone on vibrate (sometimes called manner mode). Guaranteed those you meet will appreciate it. Also, watch as they follow your lead.

Group meetings
As a professional speaker, I’m always amazed how many times someone’s cell phone rings during the course of a workshop, seminar, or keynote speech (this is after the whole cell phone etiquette spiel). I remember seeing comedian Howie Mandel perform in a club years ago. A cell phone rang from an audience member and Howie quickly ran down the aisle and took the phone. He spoke to the caller while back on stage. Funny stuff! In a business meeting? Not so funny. In a recent workshop of about 15 people, someone in the group answered their cell and carried on a conversation in the meeting. I just stopped speaking as everyone looked over at the rude guy on the phone. After a few moments, I asked if he wanted us to step outside so he could have some privacy. OK, I’m no Howie Mandel but he got the point.

Public places and spaces
Trains, planes, buses, airports, malls, stores, banks, elevators, restaurants, and other confined areas. Keep it short, sweet, to the point, and quiet – especially within ten feet of someone else. Incidentally, I learned this one the hard way.

Walking down the street
Personally, I’m uncomfortable walking down the street, paying for groceries, or getting my change from the drive through window when speaking on the phone. It just seems rude – but hey, that’s me. How would it make you feel on the receiving end? Exceptions - calling to say you’ll be late, asking for directions, making a million dollar deal, or trying to make the trade deadline if you’re a GM of a professional sports team. Otherwise, is the call necessary? Yes, occasionally we’re on the phone for social reasons. While on the phone, how can we concentrate on crossing the street or being courteous to those we speak to “live and in person” all day every day? Answer – we can’t.

While driving
It’s a great use of time speaking on the phone while driving in the car (headset on) – multi-tasking, baby. Best if there are no passengers on-board – unless of course you’re getting directions. Clearly, this is not the safest way to travel (you’re 4 times as likely to get into an accident according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration). Be courteous, keep the conversation light and not overly involved, and pay attention to the road.

Off means off!
Respect the rules when asked by the staff (or notified by a sign) at a hospital, in a theater, or on an airplane to refrain from cell phone usage - or any electronic devices.

Emotional conversations
Good rule – never take a call in public where the subject matter may be sensitive. Better rule – never take a call when the subject matter may be sensitive and emotional. If you can, take the call outside or call them back from a more remote location.

Let’s be clear. Cell phones aren’t the issue, people are. As we get more and more wrapped up with our cell phones, iPods, PDA’s, GPS’s, and other wireless do-dads, the more we forget there are other people out there. It just comes down to having more common courtesy as technology allows us to do more things today that we couldn’t do yesterday. Work some of these practices into your day to day and you’ll make a great impression with clients, prospects, and all business (and personal) contacts. I have to run; I need to take this call!

Michael Goldberg is a speaker, seminar leader, author, and the President of Building Blocks Consulting. He helps organizations attract more business and retain their employees. He also helps those looking for a job to find one. Michael speaks at conferences and associations, runs sales meetings, and delivers dynamic programs on networking, leadership, public speaking, communication, customer service, and career search. He is currently writing a book on networking with a working title he’d rather not name. For more information, feel free to visit www.building-blocks.net.