Building lines of communication
Marlborough consulting company delivers programs to improve relationships

By Bob Tremblay
News Business Writer

In today’s business world, the realm of communication can become a minefield.

How to get your message across without confusing or alienating someone can almost be as important as the message itself. How you react to employers, employees or colleagues can have a direct effect on the success of your company or your position in it.

Helping businesses and individuals navigate safely through this minefield is the job of Building Blocks Consulting. The Marlborough-based company provides training, consulting, and coaching services to its wide array of clients, most of who can be found in academia, municipalities, and the hospitality industry.

The subjects can include such issues as leadership, team building, conflict resolution, assertive language, and sexual harassment.

About one third of the firm’s business deals with the latter. "There seems to be a lot of demand here because the environments in many of the industries I’m working in tends to be very charged," says Michael Goldberg, who founded Building Blocks in July of 2000. "For example, in hospitality, there’s a social element, but with that comes the risk of crossing the line and saying things you shouldn’t be saying and doing things you shouldn’t be doing."

In police and fire departments, gender issues exist since the environment is predominantly male, Goldberg says. "In smaller towns, you’re talking about fire departments with 20-25 firefighters at most with maybe one female. That one female could be the best firefighter in the world, but she completely changes the dynamic of that department," he says. "People are now watching what they’re saying or in some cases intentionally not watching what their saying. Comments can be misinterpreted or misunderstood, causing the nature of the conversation to escalate. We see this type of thing happen all the time."For example, Goldberg was recently called in to handle an incident at a Bay State college involving a Hispanic female student in a classroom setting. "She was surrounded by three or four male students also of Hispanic dissent. A lot of the dialogue was in Spanish, so my sense was they felt they could flirt with her a little bit," he says.

"On the surface it may seem good-natured. What they didn’t know is she’s a single mom with a lot going on. She worked hard to get into the school and she wasn’t there to play around. She had a much more serious outlook on things than they did and she didn’t appreciate the comments. In asserting herself by saying she didn’t appreciate the comments, it just encouraged these guys to continue their behavior. The teacher didn’t know how to control the situation so she just chose to ignore it."

"I was brought in because (the student) threatened to file a sexual harassment claim. I counseled with her while investigating and resolving the situation expediently. The administrators and faculty in the college got their own education on the impact of harassment related issues. The school now takes a zero-tolerance approach with all forms of harassment. I helped them rewrite their policy and ran training workshops with all staff and students around that policy, as well as on the practical and legal components. We had to make sure there were no gray areas."

Failure to do so can be costly, notes Goldberg. "Companies should be aware that in order to avoid most types of liability (pertaining to sexual harassment) they need to do three things: Have a sexual harassment policy in place, have a system to communicate that policy at least once a year, and conduct a sexual harassment program at least once every other year," he says. "If you have these items in place, you eliminate most types of sexual harassment liability."

In the area of assertive language, Goldberg works with clients on developing the skills necessary to communicate with fellow staff members in a direct and honest way, focusing on the issue and not the person. Such skills can build relationships and gain respect.

"At one point I ask the group, ‘Think back to a time when you communicated something to someone that you work with or even in your personal life, where in thinking back you could have handled the situation better, or the outcome was not what you wanted it to be,’" he says. "Everyone has an incident like that. They’ll jot it down. What I’ll do next is have them break up into smaller groups and come up with a dialogue where they can perform a Take Two. ‘If you had the situation to do over again, how would you go about doing it?’ This version is often very different from the previous version, and we’ll then discuss the positive outcomes that may have resulted."

Battling Fires, And Inner Emotions

By Scott J. Croteau
News Staff Writer

SOUTHBOROUGH – Every year, firefighters are trained to handle accident scenes and put out fires, but yesterday a guest speaker taught firefighters how to handle the emotions surrounding the scenarios.

Michael Goldberg, founder of Building Blocks Consulting, has conducted seminars about leadership and people skills for police departments, fire departments and businesses for the past eight years.

Last night he told a room of firefighters that they must be able to control their own emotions and learn to handle people, whether they are co-workers or residents.

"These guys are great firefighters and they are great at what they do in terms of task," Goldberg said. "But then when you get to the emotional side and people skills side, some people are not always great at that."

Goldberg said firefighters must understand their "emotional quotient," which is their ability to deal with situations and emotions effectively.

He gave the firefighters a 27-question survey that tested their quotient and asked them questions like whether they knew what their strengths were and if they are flexible in their work habits.

Afterwards, Goldberg discussed the questions and said the emotional quotient is made up of five parts: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. He said being empathetic and having social skills was important for fire officials, and Chief John Mauro agreed.

"There have been a lot of times where I have gone to a fire and had to eventually meet the people who lived there and tried to ease their minds," Mauro said. "You have to realize that people in those situations are in a very special situation and you have to be able to handle their stress. If you can't empathize with those people, you can't do a good job."

Mauro said this is one of many training sessions he hopes to have the department undergo and said that while his crew is trained on how to handle fires, they might not know how to handle people.

But besides helping residents, Mauro said he wanted his firefighters to be able to deal with each other during difficult situations.

"People on duty spend 24 hours a day with each other and sometimes there is conflict and friction," Mauro said. "But those situations can be worked out if you understand the people you are working with."

Goldberg agreed with the chief and said the fire department is a "tight knit" unit and conflicts can occur.

Goldberg told the firefighters that their emotions are controlled by the amygdala. He said the amygdala is a part of the brain that records emotions, like the first time someone cried after skinning their knee. He said people can lose control of their emotions in three different types of situations: having a quick sudden reaction, having a very strong emotion and doing something completely inappropriate.

He said during those situations the amygdala takes over the brain and "causes people to do things they normally wouldn't do." He said firefighters can control these impulses if they understand their emotions and establish a solid base of social skills.

Goldberg also encouraged the members of the station to become leaders no matter what rank they were. He said being a leader helps create a better working atmosphere with others and members of the town.

"You don't need to be an officer to be a leader," Goldberg said to the crew. "You don't have to be promoted to become a leader."